I Knew I Was a Nerd...

My Bifurcated Uvula -

It doesn't take much to entertain me... Found this while checking out some military wives' blogs... The 7 chromosomes must explain my uvula:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Valency!

1. Valency cannot be detected by infrared cameras.
2. The liquid inside Valency can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
3. Valency has 118 ridges around the edge!
4. There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of Valency orbiting the Earth.
5. You share your birthday with Valency.
6. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Valency!
7. Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of Valency.
8. Grapes explode if you put them inside Valency!
9. Pacman was originally called Valencyman!
10. Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and Valency has 7.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

I'm not very HTML savvy so let's hope this works... I didn't blog yesterday and I'm trying so hard to blog daily. I could blame it on the exploding grapes inside of me, or on the fact that I've had a sinus infection for 2 weeks and only finally went in today and got drugs. (I HATE going to the doctor). Nothing exciting, just an antibiotic and a decongestant. The doctor had a giggle over my Uvula... It's bifurcated, so it looks like I have 2 instead of one... It's something that happens when you're an embryo, apparently I was one step away from having a cleft palate. People have likened it to looking like a nut-sack in the back of my throat. Nice. But it's great to bring up at dull parties... people always get a look of shock on their faces when I say "You wanna see my double Uvula?" - they always think I'm about to pull my pants down and show my naughty bits, which isn't so far-fetched if you know me personally. I tried to google a pic of a bifurcated uvula and just got a really crappy one of a kid - so here is mine:

Oh how grotesque!! It was really hard to take this picture without fogging up the camera lens. The back of my throat is not that red, it's just the shadow from the camera. Nice fillings, too... AND yes I have a huge mouth... I can fit my entire fist into it... ANOTHER party trick... I'm full of 'em.

My Audience of One

I actually had someone read my blog and comment... I officially have an audience of one. I thought a lot yesterday about what I'd write today, and I decided that I need to create a new Blog for my Military Wife stories... I even thought of a 'witty' name for it... hopefully, the blog is coming soon. I have enough to write about here, what with my crazy, dysfunctional family, my sons and the odyssey into them both being diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, going back to school after 16 years, my turtle stories... the list goes on.

My commenter (probably not a word) yesterday told me to be more brief in my words. If you knew me, you would know that brevity is not one of my strong points. I have a huge mouth, both literally and figuratively. A lot of stuff I need to yack about. My husband has gotten pissed off at me on more than one occasion for being a gossip. In my defense, I only say things that are JUICY and won't cause the person any harm. Actually, I believe most of my gossip is pro-active and informative. Oh, I make myself laugh...

Here's to my briefs...

Desperately Seeking Blog

I am officially dedicated to always including a photo in my Blog... a good friend said that I look like a redneck cowgirl in this picture... but people, that is the furthest from who I am... I really enjoy this picture because of the sign on the fence behind me... 'Caution Animals May Bite'... unintentional but accurate...

I am so disappointed in myself... I really want to be a Blogger, but I'm just a sad, weak poser who can't ever find 5 minutes out of the day to write some crap. I think I have an interesting life... something worth writing about... I have announced to my friends that I need to write a pilot for a TV show that is Desperate Housewives but with military wives. There would be so much more to write about, so many more interesting angles... Just between me and my two best friends, we could fill a whole season. Not to mention all of the crazy other things I've experienced... It's not a coincidence that key-bowl swinger parties started with military folk...

I've decided that my best friends are now officially my Family... I can fully understand how the Mafia started. I feel closer and more protective of my friends than I do my actual family. Being stationed overseas will do that to you - I didn't believe it until I actually experienced it. We were stationed in England for 4 years, from 2000 to 2004. We were in Florida previously, at a squadron where there were clique-y, horrible Officers' wives and I had basically no friends. I had become terribly introverted and gained weight, and I was not myself at all. I was SO depressed, but as most people eventually figure out, you don't ever know you're depressed until you get pulled out of the depression, kicking and screaming, and turn around and look at yourself & how you've been. Fast-forward to England, where I started puttering on the same depressed path, but I can see where my turning points came... yanking me by the hair out of my funk...

Turning Point #1: Ilene A. & Tracy M., two Enlisted wives, marching up to me at my first Hail and Farewell... I brought a pasta salad and tried to hide behind my husband, but after my 5-year-old son Stone punched the First Sergeant's daughter in the stomach on the bouncy castle, I had to socialize... so Ilene and Tracy demanded to know who I was and proceeded to insist that I attend the upcoming Bunco game, refusing their invitation was not an option. This was when I dove headfirst into the bosom that is the overseas military spouse's group, which I discovered to be completely different to the stateside groups... no matter how hard the stateside groups try to bond...

Turning Point #2: Meeting Nancy K. and Jen H.... isn't it strange that my turning points have involved 2 females?? We became Nancy's sponsor in January of 2002. Not her AA sponsor, but her welcome to England, let me be your guide sponsor. This was our 2nd sponsor experience, the first being Crystal C."s families' sponsor, but that was not a turning point... it is a good story... but I'll tell that one later. My husband Shane contacted Nancy's husband before they got to England and go some weird juju - he was hemming and hawing about his wife and family coming with him, alluding to the fact that they probably wouldn't be joining him at all. Shane found out that they had friends who had arrived in England in December and he instructed me to find this 'Jen' girl. I did... introduced myself to her at our weekly wives' bowling league... I told her that I had been informed that Nancy would possibly not be joining her husband in England?...? Jen threw her head back and laughed (such a good sign for me... I bond with people who can do this) and she told me that a) Nancy's husband is a Drama Queen and b) Nancy WILL be coming to England, come hell or high water. The full Nancy saga will come in a later episode... the turning point is when I made contact with these two fabulous women... the women who got me out of Mom Jeans and into Boot Cuts... the women who appreciate a great pair of shoes or a new tube of lip gloss... these two women rock my world.

Turning Point #3: I haven't thought of a turning point three yet, but there has to be one... England was such an amazing time for me. The best, juiciest 4 years of my life so far. The past year and a half I've been in the States have been juicy, believe me, but the have NOT been my best years...