Behind The Times

Ohhhh shit. It is soooo easy to get behind on daily bloggin'... Here are my excuses:

1. THURSDAY: Had school all day which ended up being a pretty LAME day. Had and exam in Comm which took all of ummm 20 minutes and so class was over at 9:20 which gave me AN HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES till my next class. It's a half-hour drive to school so I couldn't just pop home or anything... So I called the husband who works nearby and he was busy... soooo I went to the Commissary and did Non-Perishable Grocery Shopping. I am such a fucking mom.
THEN I went to Art class at 11 and the teacher was all "Oh, I have a dentist appointment at 11:30 so I will have to leave early so you guys just work on your assignments and turn off the lights when you leave." WTF??

So we all stayed about an hour but it is hard to work when you have no teacher so we all left at like 12:30ish and my next class wasn't til 2 so GUESS WHAT?? More bored time. I went to the cafeteria and got a wrap and a soda and went and sat by my next classroom which was okay cuz there were a few other students there and we chit-chatted. I have a guilt-complex so I can't just skip classes and go home PLUS my final class is Math and I am the type of person who is hands-on and I can learn like a crazy-lady in class but if I took an independent-study class I would probably fail miserably because I have NO motivation to teach myself. At least I am aware of it and I admit to it so it's all good.

We got our mid-term grade in math and I have 107 percent average (oh yes, the highest in the class) and the teacher told me I need to take a much harder class next semester that you have to be recommended for and I might. I do enjoy math which is odd for an Art major but I think I have a Leonardo/Michelangelo-type brain because I LOVE doing the Art but I also rock the rest of the subjects. We'll just have to wait and see what I become when I grow up.

THEN I get home Thursday afternoon and have to do quick turn-around and head out to the Balloon Fiesta Park for the Shaped-Balloon Glowdeo which is my FAVORITE because I am an 8-year-old girl at heart. I love the shaped guys. Much more exciting than your average round balloon...



I do NOT like buying cheesy shit at Fairs/Fiestas etc but the boys REALLY wanted a silly hat. They spent their OWN allowance money on these:







BUT that won't stop me from trying them on...




Tull has his eyes closed AGAIN but I like this picture... a lovely row of balloons starting to fill:



It did make the kids easier to find in the crowd...



Th ALPO balloon had a dog in its gondola... how cool...



And you wanna know the creepiest balloon of them all?





I think it's supposed to inspire faith or something but it was freakin' CREEP CREEP CREEPY. Especially as the flames are shooting into it, heating the air and lookin' like the devil... lol...




Okay this post was longet than I expected... I'll get to Friday-Saturday-Sunday later, I swear...

Wanna See My Big Weiner?

Today has been quiet and lovely. The house is relatively clean and kids are at school and husband is at work so YEAY! I watched "Nip/Tuck" which I Tivoed last night and what a dirty nasty show and I am going to hell for watching it but I don't care. I LOVE IT. I continued my long process of loading my CDs onto iTunes so my iPod will be all caught up - I think it's gonna take forever...

I had to hit Walmart/Target for errands and then I hit Petsmart because I needed supplies for 2 turtles I will be fostering for the winter... they are pretty bad dog chews and they aren't healthy enough to hibernate outside this winter. I'll be picking them up this afternoon so I'll take pictures of them later... how thrilling...

So THEN I had to hit Raley's which is the grocery store near my house because I had to return movies (they have $1 two-day rentals on Mondays - I had rented "Silent Hill" and "The Lakehouse" - kinda bipolar, huh?) and LO and BEHOLD what was in the parking lot?

THE WEINERMOBILE!!



I now always carry around my digital camera with me - blogging gives you good habits. There were 2 very nice Weiner Girls and they took pics of me by the Weinermobile:





What a fucking thrill, huh? Well, when you're a housewife/student/lameass, you take your excitement wherever you can find it...

I'm off to pick up sick turtles...

Lame Tuesday, Lamer Monday

I reeeallly hate holiday Mondays because I look forward to the peace and quiet of Monday all weekend. When you are living with a couple of pre-teen boys and an uber-motivated husband, the weekends just go on forever. I can spend the WHOLE weekend following them around, cleaning up after them... I even had to make TWO complete dinners last night because I made a bitchin' delicious Aztec Casserole which the husband and I ate but the kids decided they wanted home-made spaghetti carbonara - I make it with ham instead of the bacon, though... and they are as skinny as hell but they eat like crazy... you'd swear they had tapeworms but I swear they don't.


So my loverly quiet Monday was loud and active and not peaceful at all. And today I had SCHOOL all day which I was not feeling very Zen about and I'm worried about my score on the math exam I took today... it was all graphing shit that I am VERY uncomfortable and rusty about...


So here are a couple of pictures from last month at the Bernalillo Wine Festival... Once again went with my man-friend AC and I will post actual pictures from the festival at a later date when I have nothing to blog about... We parked near a church where they had I kid you not a Madonna/Virgin Mary Icon atop a very, um, phallic column:





I just HAD to touch it... can't help myself:





AC copped a squat at the little altar next to it... I freaking LOVE living in New Mexico - these little altars are so cute...





He was just pretend-drinking the wine... we're not THAT sacreligious... But shit, wine IS religious, so it's okay. Blood of Christ and all of that, yeah?


I got an email from the Scorpions Hockey website that they were having open Training Camp that the public could watch at the rink by my house... I had to use EVERY ounce of self-control not to go and stalk those little hot fuckers...


Friday Night Hockey Boys

So on Friday night my guyfriend and I went to Turtle Mountain just to get out of the friggin house and I needed a salad because I think it had been like a freakin week since I had vegetables of any kind. And Turtle Mountain just opened a NEW facility because they out-grew their old one...

Here is my salad. It is NOT a diet salad (notice that there is basically more dressing than there is actual lettuce...) but it SHOULD be a diet salad but whatever. I topped it off with cheesy-bread dipped in sauce and it was GOOD. So fuckoff.



Here is the delicious current beer list... I opted for the Cream Ale and it was pretty YUM.



SO to get to the interesting shit... TM is like a 'neighborhood-style' bar and there is a BIG central high granite table behind the regular bar-part and that is where we decided to sit. You are instantly squished in with strangers who you need to make friends with right away or you will feel ackward. We were sitting across from an older gentleman and his sister and his son, who were all getting a little ripped...



I don't think people realize how sneakily potent microbrews can be... we made friends with them... here is AC with the auntie:



but about 20 minutes later, the aunt and the son were TOTALLY drunk-fighting and the dad had to get them outta there fast and we were all HOLY shit what just happened?

So there were open bar seats across from us and this big group of young guys came and squeezed in around us. And we had to make friends with them and it turns out they were hockey players... Um, can anyone say YUM??



They play for the New Mexico Scorpions which is CHL which was explained to me as being like a 'farm league' thing... these guys were all in their early 20s and I felt like a child predator because they were all pretty fucking edible... I sat and had beers with them all night and had a lot of drrrrrty thoughts...






FUCK I need to lower my moral standards and guilt worries and just fucking go for it someday... I am a complete hockey fan now. Instantly. And I am a certified dirty old lady. I now have enough mental images of hot young men to fantasize about for the rest of my fucking life.

Oh yeah, and here's ME and my BFF AC:


I'm off to think inappropriate thoughts about sweaty hockey boys... sigh...

I Got Two Tunes

So I figured out the download thing (okay it wasn't hard at all but it took a while to browse...) I got the theme from Super Mario Brothers which will make they boys giggle and you had to buy '2 credits' at a time so I had to pick another and so I got the theme from The Muppet Show. YYYYYYEEEEAAAH the Muppets were my favorite back in the day and I still have my metal Muppet Show lunchbox out in the garage.

When I Googled for Muppet images, the pic of Gonzo and his chicken lover Camilla came up... Totally forgot about his character cuz its been yonks since I've seen the show... is it just me or was it kinda perverse that Gonzo ran around lusting after chickens?? He was a CHICKENFUCKER! That's why our generation is so warped...

Balloons at Dawn

Drag-assed outta bed at 5:30 a.m. so the kids and I could go to the 'Albuquerque Aloft' hot air balloon launch at the kids' school...



Free donuts and coffee... but I'm pretty friggin' puffy and bloated today, so the donuts weren't happening for me... but the kids were diggin' them...



Tully had his eyes closed a lot... he's doing some kind of squinty thing whenever I get the camera out...


UGH ValencyPuffyMorningFace.

Stone is getting SO OLD and he has teenager attitude at the ripe old age of 12... so I have to grab him and squeeze him a lot...



As long as the weather holds, the Balloon Fiesta will be the shit for the next week... I went for the first time last year, thinking it would be kinda gay... Oh holy shit it was pretty amazing and quite a lot of fun. The ABQ Aloft thing this morning is the official start of the fiesta, where they launch balloons from all ABQ/Rio Rancho schools...





I'm off to try and figure out how to download a ringtone for my new cell... I've never done it before, and my new phone came with the WORST suck ringtones...

Valency And The Po-Po

Yes, I have a cop fetish... well, motorcycle cops, anyway... they turn my crank... I think it's their boots... maybe it's a little S & M-ish... Here's me with some British Bobbies... they're not wearing their cool hats but that's okay... I was doing my "Please Don't Arrest Me For Public Drunkeness" pose:



Here is me and my girlie Jen with some French Policemen... I was a few pounds heavier and my tits looked great that day... we were in Lille for the Braderie ...



SO all of this coptalk is in honor of the fact that I got PULLED OVER on the way to school today. I was about 1/2 mile from my house - they installed a new light on 528 where they are building 850 new houses and YES I ran a yellow, umm orange, umm okay maybe it was a little reddish and I KNOW it is sooo dangerous to run yellow lights but I NEVER claimed to be a good driver... I used to drive an ambulance, for shit's sake... I AM a shitty driver but I prided myself that in the 2 1/2 years we've lived in New Mehico, I haven't been pulled over ONCE...

So I pull over to the side of the road and reach over to the glovebox to get my insurance/registration and start preparing the "I'm about to cry"-face and usually it takes them a few minutes to get to your car but this guy was fast and as I sat up he started talking to me and he startled me so I kinda yelped/screamed at him (I am SUPER jumpy and easy to scare.) So they guy probably thought I was a little suspicious...

The copper says "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and I pitifully say "Because I ran a yellow light?" and he chuckles and says "OH it was pretty red, ma'am..." and I start the lip quiver and say "oh..." and He tells me that it is very very dangerous and that I need to be more careful and have a nice day.

FUCKYEAH!!

No ticket... he didn't even run my license. Yessss.... I still got it. The ability to wiggle out of tickets. It's a good talent. Somewhat.

Thanks friggin god because I really can't afford a ticket right now...

Hanging in a Graveyard

My art teacher is a little looney but she's pretty enjoyable... she had us out in the graveyard by our school, drawing tombstones...



There were these crazy shaped ones... all of them were men, part of the Woodmen of the World, some Freemason-like order... badass headstones, if you ask me... maybe I need to join...







So I oriented myself on the following view... we had 2 hours to draw, and had to lay down a shaped ground with vine charcoal and conte crayon... I used purple cuz it was halloweenie. The we used compressed charcoal and eraser to make our pics:





I am NEW NEW NEW to the whole drawing thing... even though I grew up with an artist mom, I was labeled the 'smart one' and discouraged from pursuing art in school... I am a failed Physics major, but I reeeeallly like doing the art shizzle. This is my FIRST art class ever so I have a looooong way to go before I am legit, but I'm taking it one day at a time, baby... just hanging in the graveyard with my homies...

O (Oh) Henry...

Today is DULL... Housework and homework... so I will post an obligatory mention of the cuteness of one of my dogs...
HENRY!!
Henry is a Rat Terrier and he is also a TERROR as he is NAUGHTY and likes to chew shit up. Not literally chew poop, just chew shit around the house. I buy flipchips and pigears by the pound, but he is still very chewy.
But he is so stinkin' cute that it is very hard to stay mad at him. He is not a super smart dog. Our other Rat Terrier, Ibis, is VERY SMART. But he is also an asshole sometimes so I will just talk about cute Henry right now.
Don't you just want to KISS HIS FACE?? I do.

Now it's time to get back to homework and housework...

Sucking Out His Brains

Here is the man I'm actually married to... no, I didn't cause him to go bald... He just likes it like that...

This was another function that we attended this summer...

My boy has a FUCKLOAD of ribbons/medals... he's had a lot of amazing adventures...

I'm still waiting for my ribbons... you don't get many for being a retard housewife and mother and student...

I'm gonna have to start making some up for myself... What do you think?

Belle? More Like the Drunk Bitch...

More pictures from Friday... Me with my mouth open, as usual...



Yes, I am drinking white wine out of a water goblet... military base clubs are pretty classy joints...

That's why it's okay to sit up on the bar...



And then I have to give my girlie some love...



Here is good friend Jim, all smiles:



Here is good friend Jim with a Valency Assault:



Notice that by now, Valency's drunkface is in FULL EFFECT.... Not lookin' so spit and polished anymore...

It was a good night.

The Belle of the Ball

Okay, I get the major POSER award... but the 'tricks' do work... Arm on the hip makes arms look good and enhances hip curve, angle of body slims it all down... and the Spanx I was wearing underneath sucked all the flabby shit in. I highly recommend the Spanx... Oprah swears by them, and NO SHIT do they work. They need BeerGut Spanx for men. But I don't think most guys with a beer gut give a shit.

The lovely ladies I'm with are Dawn (in uniform) and Ash in the turquoise... I had to use Tit Tape on Ash to keep her from falling out of her dress... she has new boobs and they can get outta control... If only the guys new how much we rig ourselves up under our clothes... especially fou-fou ball gowns...

I really want a boob job.

The big hunk of metal in the background is a MH-53J Pave-Low Helicopter, which is a sexy hunk of manliness, and are being retired from the US Air Force soon... my husband will soon fly elsewhere. The night went smashingly... I surrendered and headed home at abou 2 am but Ash and Dawn stayed until 4 am... I have a couple of more dumb pics but Blogger's being wanky so I will try again later.

Ball was Friday, Saturday was completely unproductive because I was so hungover... today I cleaned the garage for the millionth time... so the weekend is over and I'm readying myself for another exciting week...