Me and The Psyche Ward

On Wednesday, I experienced a children's psych ward.

You know how Paxil has shitty side effects, like suicidal tendencies?

Well, my kiddo had those. He had a complete meltdown at school.

I know that some of you bloggy commenters had mentioned the shitty side effects thing... and I was aware of the problems with Paxil.

But it's hard, when you are trying to help your kid, and you do everything your doctor says - his new doctor's whole thing was that she wanted him OFF the Risperidone and SHE decided that it was the Zoloft that was keeping him up at nights and she took him off those two meds and put him on Paxil because she said that was BEST.

I had told her a week and a half ago that Stone was getting increasingly grumpier... I told her that he was in a constant state of PISSED OFF.

So she tripled his Paxil dosage.

She's a child psychiatrist. She has a PhD. I'm just a mom. Who am I to argue?

Well, I got a wake-up call about that.

ALL the meds have fucked up side effects. He was actually doing okay on the Risperidone and Zoloft; when we started seeing this new doc, his ONLY problem was that he had a hard time getting to sleep at night.

I am wasted. I am exhausted. I am scared.

The bright side is that my father-in-law is coming down to stay with us for a couple of weeks. Stone needs a man around to talk to or just be around. His face lit up like a little sunshine... it was the first real smile I've seen on his face in
weeks.

The Reason My Bedroom Is A F*cking Mess

I wish I could say it was from rough sex. NOPE. I am practically re-virginized right now, so THINK AGAIN.



The latest Art Class assignment involved everybody's favorite poster medium, FOAMCORE, with the added deliciousness of FLORAL FUCKING FOAM.

Lowdown: we drew a basic 5-line drawing, mucked with it a bit, and then we had to make it three-dimensional.

Here is my drawing (I shaded shit in so I could try and wrap my brain around it better):


Turning it foamy:


Side-by-side:


SO THE WHOLE depressing weekend was me, on my bedroom floor, cursing and sweating over this. HOURS and HOURS, for this little piece of gayness. AND it's still not exactly right because I didn't integrate the ground-plane correctly. FUCK. I pretty much have to re-work every project we've done so far.

Here it is, after layers upon layers of SPACKLE and SPRAYPAINT:



Today was spent learning the joys of plaster of paris. Bastard french plaster. I hate you.

The Little Things Can Make Such A Difference

Butchie, your comment put me back into a good mood. That was a GOOD giggle!

Shane finally called this weekend... he didn't realize it had been so long since he called.

Shane: "Isn't time just flying by??"

Me: "NO. It's just NOT."

Time is draaagggging for me. I need a vacation like you wouldn't believe... I don't know how single moms do it.

Still No Phonecall

I don't know if he understands how sad it makes me when he doesn't call.

Do You Mind If I Call YOU Instead?

My bestest local girlfriend/confidant Dianne has left for Las Vegas.

My guy-friend/emergency handyman Atticus is TDY in Alabama.

My sister isn't answering her phone (she's not mad, she's just busy).

My husband STILL hasn't called.

Poop.

SO I will vent to anyone who may read this blog...

First off, and least importantly, this bastard armband is KILLING me. It's the "Pay one price and get free entry/free rides for the whole fair" band. You have to wear it the whole duration of the fair or else you must pay an additional $5 to get a new one (It already cost 65 bucks)

IT IS LIKE CHINESE WATER TORTURE TO ME - I can't sleep with ANY rings, necklaces, earrings, or jewelry of any type, normally... This piece of plastic SHIT is like scratchy misery, yellow-razorblade-disgustingness... I promised Tully we'd go again this Saturday, so it's just a coupla more days... sigh...

And I took Stoney to his psych workup today. This psychiatrist was another nice lady. I got a good vibe from her... she talked with me alone first, and she told me that Stone's regular psychiatrist wanted to investigate if Stone possibly had Asperger's Syndrome. HUGE sigh. She then did stuff with Stone for almost 3 hours without me in the room...

Stone told me that they did the inkblot thing, and he told me that he had to 'explain his answers...'

"Like when I said one of them looked like an evil pig, I had to say why it looked like an evil pig."



EW that is a rather evil looking one.

To show that the world is still a good place, I present to you the BEST part of the New Mexico State Fair: 12-hour-old triplet baby pygmy goats:



It is kinda hard to even get the perspective of how INCREDIBLY SMALL they were, but if you look at the orange plastic tool-caddy thing in the background, and if you know the size that those caddies are in real life, you can recognize that they would all fit into one side of it Arrrrgh the cuteness still stabs me in the heart.


The were the size of little chihuahua puppies. But they were GOATS.



My camera is still set to constantly take 3 pictures in a row with different speeds/exposures/whatevers for each one. SO I will call this next series

"TULLY ASKS PYGMY GOAT TO SMELL HIS FINGER"






I am naughtily drinking ONE Hornsby Crisp Apple Hard Cider. Just one. My goodness, it tastes lovely!

Yesterday's Boots

Yesterday's boots. Today was a red Chucks day. I have had a rough week. I don't wanna talk about it because I am GRUMPY. My husband hasn't called me in TWO WEEKS. I know I'm not exaggerating because I checked my caller ID. September 7th was the last time I talked to him. I am just RUINED when he doesn't call...

But at least I still have my boots. I love you, Fryes.

Can You Tell Which Day Raymi Linked My Name In A Post?

She had cheese that was not satisfying like my Trader Joe's cheddar deliciousness.

BUT
I blame her for my need for prosciutto right now, dammit!

Yes, I don't get billions of readers every day. But that's okay with me. I like the ones that do stop by!

Kisses on your faces.

Roller Coaster, Minus The 'Wheeee'

I got Stone and Tully to finally start riding roller coasters when we went to Cliff's Amusement Park earlier this year (Cliff's has 2 pretty rad coasters). Then we hit the roller coaster at the Seattle Center when we were visiting this summer. I think roller coasters are EXCELLENT because the spinning is usually at a minimum and the excitement is high so life is good on the 'ol coasters.

Tully LOVES rides and roller coasters and he was so excited to finally be brave enough to try the roller coaster at the State Fair... we got to the fair and... NO ROLLER COASTER.

Well, there was one. Here it the glorious Caterpillar:



Here is what Tully thought of the thrilling adrenaline rush:



It. Was. Lame. With a capital SUCK.

Apparently, the ride was thrilling to some people. Check out the lady behind us :)

With The Wings Of A Cow

Exhausted. The only way to describe how I feel after hitting the insanity that is The New Mexico State Fair today. I went on a fuckload of rides and dear god I think I almost died twenty-eight times. Is it possible to die from a combination of dizziness and fear?

I like this picture. It looks like Tully has cow-wings.



I am so behind on homework. Fuckity-fuck. I will most likely not be leaving the house AT ALL tomorrow.

The Stress Of Wearing Orange

I got a couple 'o super cheap tops at Dillard's last week - my favorite time to shop there is at the end of summer and the end of winter, when they mark everything 75% off. YES.

This top was like 8 bucks which is GREAT for me because I can look cute and trendy but not cry if I spill paint on it or whatever random disaster that decides to head my way.

There is something in the air right now - everyone is apparently a fashion critic.
Raymi got hit up in a bathroom the other day in a RUDE annoying way. I got less rudeness from above orange top, but a lot of people just wanted to comment on it.

FIRST the odd nurse at Stone's shrink's office who was doing his height/weight/bloood pressure was all "OH wow you look like you should be on a cruise!" and I mutter "Yeah, bright colors." And she reiterates "Total cruise wear! You should totally be on a cruise right now!" And she is a serious LOUD TALKER and my emo son was not exactly thrilled at the loudness and commenting.

THEN I got Stoney to school and I popped over to Circuit City to see about having his laptop screen fixed (He smashed the screen during a um, bad moment - it was the week Shane left for Iraq) and the screen repair will cost the same if not more than the laptop (about $500) SUCK so I left and a creepy old man was walking out of the store behind me and says all flirty (PUKE) sarcastically "You should really wear brighter clothing! You clothing is so dull looking!" and I mumble "Heh, yeah, bright colors."
WHATEVER.

It probably didn't help that I was wearing matchy-matchy shoes. Here were my options:

No boots today! It hit 90 degrees outside today - cool Autumn weather, where the hell art thou??

I wore the pair on the right since they are EXTRA obnoxiously bright, like the shirt I was wearing. Even though I do LOVE those Sam & Libbys on the left.

I bought State Fair passes for Tully and I to go tomorrow - emo Stone doesn't want to go and Shane usually takes Tully for the rides because the two of them are RIDE CRAZY but since I am Shane substitute, I will have to suck up any nausea/motion sickness issues and just GO FOR IT. I do promise to take my camera. I'm stoked about the prospect of seeing baby farm animals...

OH and Stone said "F.U. MOM!" at his shrink appointment today for no apparent reason (he didn't say 'fuck you mom', he actually said "EFF YEW Mom" good one kiddo) - I had been telling the doctor earlier that he was in a perpetual state of ANGRY and that he was pretty much always grumpy, but then we were discussing something else and he gave the doc a few good examples of his RrrraaAAr behavior. She has him totally off of his Risperidone now which she replaced with a HALF of the tiniest Paxil pill they make - it is a MAJOR pain to cut them in half, they're so small - it is basically a piece of Paxil dust that he had to swallow.
I've stuck with it for about a month and a half now but his constant pissedoffness is driving me nuts... I didn't want to say to the doctor "PLEASE MEDICATE MY SON MORE" but after Stone showed Dr. Shrink his mad skillz at being angry, she upped the Paxil - she even said "You don't happen to have any with you, do you? Well, maybe you could stop by the house and give him the new dose before he goes back to school..."

(It makes me SO SAD that he has to take meds, but the doctor was doing a rad job of explaining it to Stone today - she was saying that it was like having diabetes or some other type of hereditary problem - you just take the meds for it and take care of yourself, and you'll be fine.)

I'm off to do my homework like a good girl now... such an exciting Friday night.

Art School Confidential

Okay, the scene in the movie "Art School Confidential" where they do peer critiques of their self-portraits is DEAD ON so fucking funny. There is so much comedy in the shit art students have to make up about each others' work. The flakey fluff talk-bullshit-crap blown up each others' wazzoos...

Not to mention the scene where the dude is naming all of the stereotypes that are seen in art classes... I giggled at them all til he got to the last one: The 'Mom' whose kids have left the nest and she's trying to explore her creative side... while not EXACTLY me (kids are still living in the nest), it hits uncomfortably close to home, dammit.

Boot Support

Even though the weather in New Mexico is still in the 80s, I decided to pull out my boots this week.



I justified it because 1)Fabulous Raymi has been sporting her boots WOOHOO and I thoroughly appreciate her style of clothing andfootwear, and 2) we can't wear open-toed shoes in the art studio at school so I can wear either super-casual sneaks or fabulous boots. YEAY BOOTS!

They have all been patiently waiting all summer for me to give them attention... sweet, sweet leather, wrapping my calf, oh how I have missed you!

(Please ignore my massive thighs. I am pear shaped. Fuck you very much.)

*OH and yes I have BOMBSHELL written on my bathroom mirror along with other things I don't want to forget. 'Bombshell,' because it is SO EASY to slip from Fabulous MILF to Disgusting-Pooh-Bear-Sweatsuit-Wearing-no makeup-depressed-NOT-MILF. So many wives/moms let themselves GO and make no effort in their appearance and get fat and then their husband leaves them and they cry. I say OH WELL. YOUR FAULT. I'm closing in on 16 years of marriage, and if you want your husband to stay interested in you always always always, you need to look HOT. Always.

So 'Bombshell' is my inspiration word right now. What is YOUR inspiration word right now? Go write it on your mirror with a dry erase marker. I dare you.

I just boxed up this package for Shane:



1) Photo albums are FINALLY good-to-go.
2) Socks and underwears because he has to send his laundry OUT to get washed and it takes time and also all of the socks and underwears don't always get back to him.
3)His camera manual, so he can figure out to do a little creative shizzle (he bought the Olympus 770 right before he left).
4) His allergy medicine, because his allergies have just decided to kick in.
5) Some random magazines, since it is a flat rate postage box, I'm shoving in some extra junk.
6) His fat-check calipers, because I think he asked me to send them if I found them - he is a gym-rat right now and he's Mister Personal Trainer Guy therefore he needs fat squeezers.

That's it. He asked for some Monster Energy Drinks but I haven't had SHIT for time to go get it so that will have to wait. I am now positive that 4 classes per semester is the most that I can take and still maintain my abilities as Mom and Head of Household.

We spray-painted the foam core elephants today, and I didn't wear gloves, so my hands look like this:



If people see my gross hands, they will either recognize that it is spray paint on them and they might think I am a renegade grafitti artist, OR they will think it is BLOOD and worry to themselves that I am a crazy ax-murderer. It's a win-win situation for me.

On The Love Of Tourettes

Both of my kidlets have diagnosed Tourettes Syndrome. Neither have the full-blown 'coprolalia,' in which you compulsively swear or say/yell offensive words.

Tully has a 'common' case of Tourettes - he has mostly facial tics, with some hand and foot jive thrown in, and depending on his stress level, he does nose sniff, throat clearing, and squeaks. The audible ones drive me mildly insane sometimes, but he'll get stressed if I say anything which will INCREASE tics, so I just DEAL. In general, Tully is pretty easy, as the kid is a genius and has a very high IQ, and he's sweet as pie.

Stone is much more complex, as his motor tics are more mild (usually head twitches) and he does a little 'cough' thing (also drives me nuts) but Stone does have some kind of impulse control issue that's been around since he was about three- he says random things a lot and does random thing a lot. I'm not wholly convinced that he has Tourettes specifically, but he definately has something going on in that spectrum. Stone also has a pretty severe stutter, he has ADD (THAT he got from ME - sorry, kiddo), and currently he has some kind of depression... but he is bright and creative and funny - I don't know. He is having a full psych workup on the 20th so we'll see what'll come out of that. It is so incredibly hard to get answers out of doctors -

On to lighter things.

I went to the Wine Festival the weekend before last with my friend Dianne and her friends - she has the most RAD friends EVER. I just can't say enough good things about them. I was a total interloper, but they made me feel welcome :)



Dianne has cultivated a group of girlies that are generous and giving and kind - just my type of people!

On Sunday, I went and saw the Albuquerque Baroque Players at The Historic Old San Ysidro Church in Corrales - I'm taking an Early Music Appreciation class and I had to go see a performance. It was actually pretty good - a violinist, a viola player, and a harpsichord player. I felt like I was in an old period movie, wearing a big foofy dress and sitting in a parlour, nibbling biscuits. I totally would have dragged Shane to go with me if he was around - he's SO lucky he's not here!



Quite a few blue-hairs, eh?

I've been cutting circus elephants out of foam core for art class this week - I swear to god, when I am an art teacher, I'll have WAY more kick-ass projects than this. No pics of the elephants yet, but here is the aftermath on my bedroom floor:

I've Got Skills... In Pissing People Off

I just have no tact. Zilch, zero, none. I could say that my inability to censor my mouth is somehow connected to my sons' Tourettes Syndrome, but its not. I just have opinions, and I'm quick-witted. I personally think I'm funny.

Apparently, a lady in my new art class does NOT think I'm funny. The two older ladies that sit across from me were droning on about people they know with cancer... blah blah blah sickness dying death and I just sat there, taking it all in. It was really starting to

bring

me

down.

So when one lady said, "Gosh, I just know SO MANY people getting cancer!" I piped up "Yeah, they're just doing it 'cuz its trendy." The words just bubbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. I actually thought IT WAS FUNNY because OBVIOUSLY people DON'T get cancer to be TRENDY. Fucking DUH.

Oh but one of the biddies became all ruffled and harumphed "I just had a friend die from cancer 2 days ago. You should REALLY WATCH WHAT YOU SAY."

What?

So I politely apologized and explained to her that I react to insanely sad situations with humor. In fact, I react to MOST THINGS with humor. I also informed her that I UNDERSTOOD the devastating nature of cancer, since my dad died from cancer at the ripe old age of 33, when I was barely 2 years old.

The lady then huffed a bit more and said "Well, you just need to THINK about OTHER PEOPLE and be careful what you say."

I wanted to say Fuck You.

But I was actually able to control that. I am able to control cuss words. Mostly.

First art project - 3-D Design is a BEAR. My pointer-finger is fucked from over-use of an exacto knife.

I spent the whole weekend cutting out this lizard bastard, then I used the wrong glue, and IT WRINKLED which is such a no-no so I'll have to "rework it" once I get the initial grade which SUCKS.



We could only use ONE piece of 18x24 paper to make the cutout, and at least one point had to be 'attached' to the page.




The dragonfly has gone all floppy because it is hanging in the student gallery at school which is actually a portable with a shitty swamp cooler that made it WILT. Not a good way to begin art class, dammit.

I took the idea for the cutout from this pic off worth1000.com:



I made the crow picture up top as a quickie to show the teacher that I ACTUALLY KNEW how to glue. I was so very very irritated by the whole thing...