TOUCHDOWN!

Final day of Nablopomo... I deeeed it! Hopefully I'm like a little trained monkey now, and I'll post every night(/day) without fail... how long is it before behavior becomes a habit?

I'm off to a birthday party for my friend Dianne's daughter... I'll post something meatier tonight when we get home. I'm making both of the boys come with me so they can work on their social skills...

In Living Color

The chicken (cock pot!) has flown the kiln...



I have really lost all ability to take pictures - did I EVER have the ability to take pictures?



All of my peeps in school (like Shmoops) know how SUCK life is right now because we're all nearing finals and OH MAN is this college shizzle is crazy-exhausting.

Not to mention Stoney is driving me nutzo because he's grounded from the computer and video games for one month (there was some BAD BEHAVIOR on Thanksgiving). His basic mindset right now is that 'if I make my mom's life a living hell, then she will be FORCED to return all of my priveleges, lest she go COMPLETELY INSANE!'

If I don't stick to my guns, I will succeed in my production of a juvenile delinquant; I MUST stay strong, so for the next 3 weeks I will be constantly barraged with awesome phrases like:

-"I'm so bored."
-"I hate my life."
-"You just don't love me."
-"Can I just play for 5 minutes?"

And constant sighing and moaning and fuckmylifeishellrightnow.

Me. On A Roof.

One of my favorite ornaments on our tree - Eloise:


(She's holding her turtle, Skipperdee)

The boys' stockings:



I wish I could say I made them, but NO, I bought them many moons ago, whe we were living in Florida.

My stocking was made by hand, by my dear madre:



I hung Shane's stocking too...



I have a new-found appreciation for my husband, discovered while hanging Christmas lights on the house in the freezing cold high winds today... I swear I almost fell off the house a few times.

I just went and tried to take a picture but they weren't turning out and I didn't have my little tripod and it was TOO COLD so this picture of my Griswold-handiwork is, um, artistic.



I'll take a better picture later...

Why We Sometimes Call Lucky 'Mr. Pants'

I am SO crazy right now with the end of the semester fast approaching...

So what do I do to let off a little steam?

I put Tully's underwear on Lucky.

My room is a mess, with art supplies everywhere, and I was trying to fold laundry, and Lucky just kept getting in the way...

They say laughter is the best medicine? Well, this gave me a big dose of GOOD.

Rhino-Poly

Still working on the 'acid bugs'...

This one is half rhinocerous, half potato-bug (or pill-bug or sow-bug or roly-poly or Armadillidium vulgare). He is painted and in his jar.



None of my bugs are fabulous. I need to learn how to airbrush to make them look better. Slapping on acrylic paint is just not giving me the look that I want...



Right now, I am exhausted. I am tired and lonely and trying to maintain my perfect A-average in all of my classes (THIRTEEN CREDITS this semester) and trying to keep the house clean and the laundry washed and the kids fed and the pets fed and the bills paid and the house decorated for Christmas and the presents bought and FUCK I am so burnt out. I want my husband SO BAD and it is just making me extra-sad right now. The holidays suck.

Sorry. That is all.

Disgusting. Gross. And Delish!

Ooooh, I almost forgot to post today... I'm tying up loose ends on a million art projects, and I'm trying to stay on top of all of the normal housework, AND we got out all of the Christmas decorations from the shed and put up the big tree and decorated it...

I also ate these awful things:



They are nasty processed bites of garbage... and they are YUMMY.

Another Thing That Makes Me Happy...

The MOVIE VERSION of "American McGee's Alice".....

Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar! Woot!





LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!

It's Not The Acid...

It's an ASSIGNMENT. I swear.



We have to do some sort of animal cross-breeding, in clay...

I chose the bug route.

I'm putting them in specimen jars... like I've been collecting 'em. (They're required to have a 'base', and the jars suffice.)

The pigipede ended up being a little too big for his pickle-jar, and unless I can find a larger jar, it will just have to look as though he is escaping from his jar.



The next one I'm working on is a ladybug/deer. Ladydeer?

I 'spose it could be a ladymoose or a ladyelk, too... its legs are kinda chunky.





They need to be cooked and painted so they won't be that scary, fleshy color anymore.

It's Not ManBearPig.

I'm in the middle of this:



It's a pigipede. Or a centipig. Or whatever... It's an art project.

Pictures Aside...

The girly pictures do drive me craaaaazy.

He called today to say "Happy Thanksgiving."

We chatted, and he brought up the last picture that he sent me. "They're called 'The Perfect Angels' - they were badass."

[EDIT: Oh snap, they are actually called
"The Purrfect Angelz."]

Anywho, I said to Shane "Well, I just need to find some hot guys and take my pictures with them and send them to you."

He objected, "No, this is different. These girls risk their lives to come perform for us."

Dammit. The 'danger' card. He played it.

I said "Well, the mean streets of Albuquerque are quite dangerous. I could hunt down a male rock band and tell them how lonely and man deprived I am and would they mind snapping a few pictures with me for me to send to my husband?"

He still didn't get it, I think. Oh, well.

Here is why he is a keeper... Exhibit A: Tully's outline for his 'Hero' essay at school -



(Click to enlarge)

New Photo From Shane............

Pfffffffft.



Okay, who thinks the guy behind my husband looks like a porn star? OR does he look more like the love child of GI Joe and Super Mario?

Your Teeth ARE SO BIG.

Marie Osmond is just plain YUCK.

Her dolls are creepy.

Her brothers have really large heads.

The all have awful veneers.

They have ruined "Dancing With The Stars."

You might as well fucking call it "Dancing With The Creepy Mormons."

Rubens and Shannon?? YES!

So I won't shut up about PUSHING DAISIES (link to Wikia info).

This Wednesday's episode finally features my man Paul Reubens:



This was his original character, Alfredo Aldarisio, a traveling homeopathic antidepressant salesman. That character has since been recast, and Pee-Wee is now playing a character named Oscar Vibenius, who is a former smeller/olfactory expert who works for the Department of Water and Power. He, um, smells something a little 'different' about Chuck. HA!



DELISH!

Now come to find that MOLLY SHANNON, who is sooo uber-fabulous, will also be starring in a few episodes (starting NEXT week) as 'Dilly Balsam', who is the owner of "Bittersweets," a saltwater taffy emporium that opens up right across the street from Ned's Pie Hole. OH I FOUND PICTURES - her character has a blond beehive!




Very Wonka-ish outfits.

You can click here to go watch full episodes on abc.com...

Baroque-Back Concert

I went and bought donuts for the boys this morning, and a GREEN CHILI BREAKFAST BURRITO for ME from BLAKE'S. So so so good. I didn't need to eat for the rest of the day, my stomach was SO FULL!

Dianne called me at 2 pm when I was just finishing up my Philosophy shizzle and I'm all blah, blah, blah and all of a sudden IT COMES TO ME that I have a Baroque concert to go to at 2:30 and HOLY COW I need to get a move on!

I made it in time... I just need to write my last concert report and then all that's left for the class is the final exam! Phew. I canNOT wait for Winter Break...

Blog Time Out

I put myself on "Time-Out" from the computer today so I can catch up on shizzle. Here is what I accomplished today:

- vaccuumed house
- mopped house
- dusted house
- cleaned both catboxes
- swept front yard/driveway
- trimmed hedges in front yard
- washed/dried/folded 4 loads of laundry
- vaccumed car ('twas still full of sticks!)
- cooked dinner for the rugrats
- helped Stone make chocolate chip cookies
- emptied all garbages in the house
- washed kitchen and family room windows, inside and out
- fed turtles
- refilled dog and cat feeders and waterers
- emptied and refilled dishwasher
- cleaned ALL THREE bathrooms including the boys' gross PEE toilet - jesuschrist can these guys LEARN to AIM??

Okay it makes me tired just writing that shit out!! I am happily exhausted, though - I just need to finish my Philosophy homework tonight, so I can just concentrate on my artwork tomorrow... I'm working on bottled polymer clay buggies.

Vanilla Ninja

The communication with my husband in Iraq is very sparse. I get phone calls about once a week, and I get emails about once a week. He is not in Baghdad, were the base is pretty much like being on a country club - he is in another area, and it is NOT NICE.

I got an email last night, and I was very excited... I opened it up and read:

"Vanilla Ninja came (a band from Estonia) and check out the picture- BOOM."



I am NOT a jealous woman, but this irritated me.

Sticks and Stones

I had cut back some trees this summer, but I've been procrastinating taking the shizzle to the dump. The huge pile of sticks just hung out on the side of my house.



I decided that I needed to get the stuff to the dump before it started raining and my pile of sticks turned into a complete mess... as long as I was making the trip, I trimmed (massacred?) another bush in the front yard that had some dead parts (we have shitty little angry beetle-bugs attacking our greenery.)



I don't own a pick-up truck, nor do I know anyone that I could bother to help me out. SO I began SHOVING it all into the back of my little Ford Escape:



Getting full:




Yeah, REALLY full.



Where the hell will I sit?



Oh, this is gonna be a FUN drive.

Luckily, the dump isn't too far away, and when I got there, the guy who shows you where to park/pull in actually helped me unload it all (usually they just stand there cuz it's not their job to unload.) AND the money lady only charged me two bucks, which is enjoyable because a full truckload is 'sposed to be $4.50. Yeay me!

Tim Burton and I Should Be BEST FRIENDS

Le sigh.

(I turned the trailer-player into this link because I was tired of it auto-playing on my blog.)

Swoon.

Chocolate MINT Rain

Oh, Hai!



Impulse purchase at the grocery store yesterday.



I totally blame Janet. She was talking about her love of peppermint the other day, and made me contemplate my love of mint ONLY when mixed with CHOCOLATE.



These little guys were sufficiently yummy as far as cheap chocolate goes...

And The Oscar Goes To...

I got pulled over by a Sheriff today. Sigh.

Oh, yes. It was my fault. I was being BAD.

I was driving, oh, about 65-70ish in a 45 m.p.h. zone.

I was on a really BLAH road called 'Idalia' that I take to school most days. It is a boring, 2 lane road. Flat, straight. BORING.

This is it:

So here I am, hauling ass, listening to Korn on la radio, and all of a sudden I see a Sheriff's truck (they drive SUVs here) coming towards me in the opposite direction and I SLAM on my brakes to slow down but OH TOO LATE.

His lights came on and I KNEW they were for ME so I pulled over and lo and behold, he pulled in behind me.

Shit shit SHIT!

He comes walking up to my window as I fumble for my driver's license AND military ID (I always hand them both) and I say "OH I AM so so sorry!" and he says all mean, "Yes, you SHOULD be, you were going over 20 miles over the speed limit!!"

He was PISSY and I said "Oh, I am so sorry - are you going to give me a ticket?"

Good one, Valency - get right to the point.

He answers incredulously, "YES, I'm giving you a ticket. You CAN'T DRIVE THAT FAST THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS - LOOK THERE IS NO SHOULDER SO IF YOU HAVE TO SWERVE YOU WILL ROLL OVER."

He was getting riled but it wasn't over yet and goddammit I wasn't going down without playing ALL OF MY CARDS.

As soon as he said he was going to give me a ticket, I turned on the girly tears. Not the ugly, upset, swollen face crying, but the sweet, pretty cry. Big tears, puppy dog eyes, pouty (not TOO pouty) sad mouth.

I then launched into my non-stop nervous chatter - "OH MY husband is in Iraq and I have 2 sons and I'm going to school full-time and I just so stressed and OH I was just driving to school and I just wasn't thinking and I am SUCH a safe driver, you can look at my record -" with a lot of "so sorries" thrown in for good measure.

This Sheriff was an older gent, probably in his mid-50s, and he was NOT enjoying my bullshit; "THINK ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND GETTING NOTICE IN IRAQ THAT HIS WIFE KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WAS DRIVING LIKE AN STUPID IDIOT?? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STRESS IS - YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS CAR AND WALK THROUGH THAT FIELD OVER THERE AND THINK HOW YOU'D FEEL IF AN ENEMY HAD YOU IN THEIR CROSS-HAIRS - THEN YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT STRESS REALLY IS - YOU HAVE NO IDEA! I WAS IN VIETNAM - I KNOW WHAT REAL STRESS IS!!"

Then he launched into "YOU NEED TO QUIT ALL OF THIS EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT AND STOP CRYING (I immediately ceased the tears) AND START USING YOUR GOD-DAMNED BRAIN. I JUST GAVE A GUY A TICKET RIGHT UP THERE FOR RUNNING THE STOPSIGN (pointing emphatically to 4-way stop ahead) AND THAT DUMBSHIT COULD HAVE HIT YOU. QUIT ACTING LIKE A WOMAN AN SUCK IT UP."

He then takes a breath and tells me "I'm not going to give you a ticket -"

And I exclaim "OH THANK YOU!" and he barks "DON'T THANK ME. NO. DO NOT THANK ME!! YOU SHOULD NOT THANK ME, YOU SHOULD SLOW GODDAMNED DOWN." He is still MAD and a bit riled but holy jesus I'm not getting a ticket!!

La-la-la, I'm NOT getting a big fat nasty expensive ticket!! I thought I would get one FOR SURE... but OH MY GOD I am GOOD.

He wishes me good day and leaves... I drive off, check my eye make-up, and giggle the rest of the drive to school.

(Takes a bow) 'Thank you, thank you -' (takes a bow, blows air-kisses)

I need to go buy a lottery ticket, I'm such a lucky somabitch...

Rumble Fish

I'll admit it. Sometimes I'm a BAD FISH MOMMA:



In my defense, he is a Siamese Fighting Fish, aka a Betta. They are native to Thailand, where they live in rice patties in a couple of inches of muddy, murky water... Bettas have a special organ called a 'labyrinth' that enables them to breathe oxygen from the surface air; they do not depend on oxygenated water + gills for breathing like most fish.

As insanely busy as I am, if I have to prioritize things in the house, my fishy gets the low position on the totem-pole. Sorry.

I did clean his tank today, though...

Seriously, these guys are next to impossible to kill. The only way to hurt them is not feeding them, or putting them in those retarded vases with a plant on top which gives them no ability to access the surface and breathe...

Creepy teeth?

There is a nice guy who sits by me in art class.

He said to me today, "I was thinking about you all weekend."

I said, "That's creepy."

A girl across the table snort/laughed.

You had to be there.



I get A LOT of compliments on the white-ness of my teeth. I have two words for you:

CREST WHITESTRIPS.




Buy the cheap 'classic' whitestrips, and wear a single pair for a couple of hours. (LONGER than the 30 minutes the directions tell you to).

They're actually better than the shit the dentist sells you, because it is a gentler solution of peroxide... They don't rape your teeth like the expensive shit.

And YES I normally have sensitive teeth but NO the strips don't bug my teeth AT ALL.

Love Me, Love My Body, Love My Brain!

Waking up to this news story really made my day.

Finally, a reason to rejoice in my hour-glass-ness!

"They found that women with a greater difference between the waist and hips scored significantly higher on the tests, as did their children."

Yes, us lovely ladies with skinny waists and mahoosive thighs are not only going to live longer, dammit, we're smart as fuck. Oh, and our kids are, too...

"The researchers suggest that the fat around fuller hips and thighs holds higher levels of omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for the growth of the brain during pregnancy. Fat around the waist, on the other hand, may have higher levels of omega-6 fatty acids, which are less suited to brain growth, the researchers said."

Heeheeheehee!!

Annnd I'm also going to live forever!!

"Waist fat can also be a contributory factor in diabetes and heart disease, which is why curvy women are also believed to live longer than their straighter counter parts, research shows."

Super-skinny women, DON'T DESPAIR!

"Thinner or linear-shaped women lack both omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids around their waists and hips, which would be likely to boost longevity, but have little effect on intelligence."

I can hang with all of the skinny chicks when I'm in my 90s...

Cornball.

Ahem.

My Math Exam:



TAAAADAAAAAAAA!!



Oooooh that makes me so unbelievably happy. It was a hard test. And it's fun being a fabulous woman with a brilliant brain!

In less brainy news, I ate the corn-thingys this afternoon...

FROZEN outta the bag:



Cooked, hot lava sizzle eruptions:



BITE:



And they are NOT super-delish. Sorry, Green Giant, YOU LOSE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give them about a 6, and that is probably pretty generous.

I'm working on BUGS made out of polymer clay (Super Sculpey) right now. Here is a plastic guy I'm using as a model:



This is my first attempt at the armature for him:



His legs looked a little thick, so I've made another one with better legs... next, CLAY!

My Favorite Veteran...

I miss him SO MUCH.





He is the bravest, strongest, most hard-working guy I know...



He is kind to his Iraqi students.



He pets dogs.



He likes big guns, but he never brings them home with him.
(I really dislike guns in general).




He's been gone for about 8 months now. He is hopefully coming for a 2-week visit in January, then he has to go back until mid-May.



14 Months.






He's sexy as hell, and I LOVE HIM.



Happy Veteran's Day, baby...

Ridiculous Corn

My bosses (the boys) decided that today was a good day for donuts, so they ordered their slave (me) to grant their wish... I stumbled off to Albertson's and decided to browse around a pick up a few other bits and pieces.

As I perused the frozen food section, these caught my eye:



I am an absolute corn FREAK. I don't eat it that often, but I do love it... fresh on the ear, canned, creamed, cold, hot... I love it. These bad-boys have really piqued my interest.

As if buttered corn wasn't sassy enough for you, they've made little 'fritter'-looking things out of it!



I'm not hungry right now, but I'm TOTALLY making these for dinner. I'll tell y'all how they taste later... I have HIGH HOPES!

In other news, I've been planted in bed most of the rest of the day, writing a Philosophy paper on Heidegger (are you sure it's written in English?) and starting the NEXT art project. Here is my view:



Someone's going to have to come and start rolling me over so I don't get bedsores. Seriously.

Getting OUT

If I don't make a conscious decision to get outta the house with the boys on the weekend, I end up spending the whole weekend doing homework and house-cleaning and the boys turn into blue-skinned brainless jello while they play video games...

I didn't have any major 'plans' but I knew I needed a couple of items and I dragggged them along - running errands is a boys' worst nightmare, according to the kiddos.

They did okay today, mainly because I let them buy some trading cards for the online game "Maple Story" (with their OWN money).

Mama used her Michael's coupons on supplies for art class, and she also got these two items:



Total THRILLING excitement!!

I've wanted this Fisher-Price ornament FOREVER, because I have a sick love of all things Fisher-Price - it makes me so SAD that my boys have outgrown its goodness!!



If you weren't already aware, my husband is a US Air Force flight engineer, now on THREE different helicopters, so a wee little chopper on my Christmas tree makes me think of him! I have a fer other helicopters on my tree - not an overwhelming amount, but enough to be fabulous.

I had to use A LOT of self control when we went to Target, because they had a whole end-cap full of toys for Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium toys - like a special lego set:



And a lot of classic toys reissued such as



SO so so cool but I did not buy any YEAY ME!

I did get myself this book at Barnes and Noble because I have their discount card AND I had a coupon so I didn't feel quite so guilty:



Such a cool/interesting/fun to look at/fun to read book! I friggin' LOVE books.



I need to pre-plan a day next week that I can bring my boxes of old books to the used bookstore in town and see what they'll take - I take the same 2-3 boxes every couple of months and they ALWAYS take some and I get anywhere between $30 to last time I got $135 in store credit!! Even better, you can take the credit to their NON-used bookstore across the street and buy stuff there! Woooohooo. Free shopping is the BEST shopping.

Tire. Tired.

Here is more of the tire changing excitement.

Thank goodness for Dianne and her tire changing knowledge...


Aaaand the lovely donut tire:



Bleh.

Almost Forgot Fridge Friday!

I am too friggin' tired to inventory and tidy the kitchen refrigerator, so I will share the contents of the garage fridge!

It is a drink fridge. We live in the desert and it gets HOT and you need to stay HYDRATED! HYDRATED WITH BEERS!!



Kidding. There is one beer missing from each 6-pack of cider or beer because I buy the 6-pack, drink about a half of one, and then I lose interest. Lame, I know.

Shane is supposed to be here to drink the other five!! I will save them for him for when he gets back... beer doesn't spoil in 2 months, does it?



I also have the big GIANT tubs of cookie dough in the garage fridge - both of the boys' schools had Cookie Dough Fundraisers and so I had to buy 2 tubs from each kid and now HELLO I have a fuckload of cookie dough.

The End.

Plans Schmans

I spent the earlier part of the morning taking pictures of Ibis on the trampoline:





He thinks it is HIS. Stone taught Ibis how to climb the ladder; Henry is not as bright as Ibis and spends his time running in circles under the trampoline and barking at Ibis. Silly dogs.



I spent the rest of the morning changing a flat tire FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!! I can jump a battery ANY day, but changing a tire?? No fucking clue.



IT SUCKED. I will talk about it tomorrow.

Pilates Anyone?

Dianne and I are going to try Pilates today.

My core is still sore from Yoga.

This may be disastrous.

WE SHALL SEE.

I hate blogging without pictures.

I WILL take some today!!

My Amazing Art Teacher...

Poopee Shmoopee linked her art instructor's site on her blog, and it made me think,

"Hmmmm, self, you haven't looked up your current fabulous instructor's website!"

So I googled and googled and googled... Her name is Lynn Johnson. Just a tad bit common in the U.S. of A. Ugh.

But I finally found her!

This is her site (click me!)

She is so incredibly edibly RAD. Definite le sigh.

ALSO LE SIGH are the KOKESHI DOLLS from a show at Subtext in Cali... I am totally ordering a blank. But I am not worthy...

New Endeavor.

I decided to make a shoe blog. Fussy, the originator of Nablopomo, has been doing NaShoPoMo and posting a pair of her shoes every day. Since I have enough pairs to last at least a year, I thought it would be fun.

It will make me wear more of them too... maybe I'll even get rid of some, if I can't bring myself to wear a particular pair or something.

So OHMYGOD I have a second blog, over at In Valency's Shoes. I also added a link in my sidebar on the right-------------->

In GREAT NEWS OF THE DAY, my early music appreciation teacher was doing review for our test on Tuesday, and she mentioned that this is the third and last test before the exam - AND SHE DROPS THE LOWEST TEST SCORE OUT OF THE THREE TESTS.

What score did Valency get on her first two tests? Let's see - 100% and 110%. So I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THE TEST ON TUESDAY SINCE THE SCORE I GET ON IT DOESN'T MATTER! Wooot! That pleases me... I was prepared to do some major studying on Handel, Bach, arias, etc., etc. Now I can spend time having FUN!!

Support In My Creative Process

I'm pretty much FINIS with Cock-Pot... It needs to be fired and glazed now.

I decided to add the feet, like murl suggested...







This is her (his?) nesting-box... after it's fired and glazed, I want to put a real straw nest in it.



Then she can sit and chill...



So the classes I signed up for next semester were my last and final Math class (blech!), a Sociology class and a Psychology class (more requirements - could be fun, could SUCK), and a Drawing II class which is YEAY FUN because it is with the same teacher I have now, who is the head of the Art dept - she is a tough teacher, but AMAZING and I'm learning TONS with her. It's going to be a lot of work, but my portfolio will thank me for it...

PeekABoo

I just never have time to post in the morning on Monday through Thursdays... If I get sidetracked at all, then I'm late for class, and that would NOT be acceptable!!

Not much to report today - OH I forgot to mention that I am TOTALLY STOKED because my father-in-law (grampa John!) is coming for Christmas - YEAY the kids are over the moon and so am I because Christmas was going to be kinda lonely without Shane here...


I had to re-do my chicken's wings because they were too thin, so I will assemble them onto my teapot tonight... that, and study for a math exam tomorrow.

In about 10 minutes, I get to register for next semester's classes - Very exciting! I'll tell you about them as soon as I get what I want...

My Cock Pot!

Aaahahahaha - Rilah came up with that catchy name and I LOVE IT. So silly... silly makes me SO HAPPY!

I do prefer hens to roosters because they are much nicer (roosters are MEAN!)and I myself am a girl (surprise!) so I like the girly chickens better...

Here is some shots of how it looks - I'm tired and going to bed but I'll take it to class and finish it tomorrow.







It needs to dry 'leather-hard' so I can add these wings...



I think she needs feet, too. Chicken feet are pretty rad looking.

She has a nesting box that she'll sit in, too... I'm going to make her an actual nest out of straw inside of it that she'll sit in. I think it will be MOST EXCELLENT!

Here are my preliminary sketches:



Not particularly exciting, but it fulfills the requirement in a less-boring way than just making an abstract teapot like pretty much all of the other students...

Slowpoke Rodriguez

I'm trying to finish up my teapot right now... doing a million projects at once.

The teapot has to use all of the basic handmade pottery techniques: slab, hump, slump, coil, hollow-form, and pinch.

It has to hold tea, too. Such demands on my teapot!


Here is the beginnings of my chickenhead/spout - it was pinched.



Here is the body, which was humped and slumped on a big plastic Easter egg - can you tell? The clay kinda looks like chocolate...



I've assembled the head, and I've given it a chicken-butt...



Not a particularly long blog post, but I still have a lot of work to do, poultry-wise...

A Free Hour? For ME?

Yeay for FALL Daylight Savings!

I actually do HATE Daylight savings, but since I have to live with it, then I will say that Spring D.S. is just friggin' evil. But I was admittedly quite pleased this morning when I woke up at 8:30 and flipped on CBS Sunday Morning which I thought would be almost over BUT IT WAS JUST COMING ON BECAUSE TIME HAD MAGICALLY REVERSED ITSELF AN HOUR!

And I can use that hour. I have a lot of stuff to accomplish today.

Here is what I wore with my red boots yesterday...



Not wery exciting... but it worked.

Valency's GAME

EXCITEMENT of the evening came when we ditched the art gallery and decided to go to Sushi King and we were in downtown Albuquerque and Dianne makes me park in a secret squirrel parking lot so we don't have to pay and we walk past a constructiony area with security guards but we are on level TEN Sushi Mode so we see nothing but the straight path to SUSHI.

Walking back to the car with full bellies, we finally notice this:



It's kinda hard to tell but those are all those metal shipping crates you see on big ships (duh) but they are stacked all crazy with stairs and hallways and shit. It is a whole building make out of those crates!

Across the street, there were fake building-fronts being finished with big giant bomb-holes in them - they looked like video-game fakey holes.

And I say HEY to the three security guards because I am NOSEY. I asked WHAT IS THIS??

Turns out they are getting ready to film a movie called Game and it will begin filming in 2 weeks. It stars the badass "SPARTA!" guy from "300" Gerard Butler and also John Leguizamo and Michael C. Hall (THE GUY ON DEXTER!!) and Kyra Sedgewick and Amber Valetta(??huh!?) so YEAY NEW MEXICO.

Here is the plot: "Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player (Butler) from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his independence while taking down the game's mastermind (Hall)."

It could be GREAT and it could SUCK. We will find out in 2009, I guess!

In other news, I wore my cute red boots I bought in England:



Maybe I'll talk about the rest of my outfit tomorrow...

The TWO Makes A Difference!

So they don't call a Step Aerobics class "Step TWO" For nothing. Than sneaky little "2" makes a huuuugge difference. I made it through 15 minutes of straight ab work on the floor (it is a Core-Management class that leads into the Step) and then I busted out 45 minutes of STEPSTEPSTEPPITYSTEP without vomiting or cying, but I left when they did the last half-hour of weights and cool-down. I. was. done.

I am mad at myself for letting myself 'go' - I have not been exercising regularly for a while and dammit my stamina is GONE. I'll get you back, though, Mister Stamina!

I'm in a very Meme mood right now, so I'll show you where you'll usually find me when I blog - my domain, my Comfort Zone:



My loverly comfity Fit-For-A-Queen King-sized BED! I do my homework here, I pay bills here... I'd say "this is where all the magic happens," but until Shane gets back from Iraq, the magic show is pretty LAME.



I want to paint that blah white bench that I have at the foot of the bed, but I haven't had time yet...



Behind that magic golden curtain there are 2 bookshelves with my beloved books. I don't like how cluttered all of the books look (they're orderly, but there is a lot of them) so I made that curtain - in fact, I made all of the curtains MYSELF!

Here is the reason I really really really want more windows (and bigger windows) in my house - right here is the best view in the whole house and it's shoved in a sad little corner:



It deserved a HUGE picture window with a lovely cushioned window seat - someday, someday...

To the left, you can see my make-up table - I'd have to say that that is where the REAL magic happens.



It's a goofy little table, but I really like having a purposeful area for my girly stuff... And I can put it all conveniently away when I need too.



I'm off to bathe and rinse all of the gross nasty sweat off. I'm going to a gallery with Dianne to see a show opening... I'm very excited!

One Monster After Another

Okay, here is where some serious Seussian skills are shown by the Master that is Mercer Mayer.

My apologies for crap camera work. You NEED this book to FEEL the greatness!

It was published in 1974, and for some reason, I think it was never published again...

The story begins with Sally Ann writing a letter to Lucy Jane:



A "Stamp-Collecting Trollusk" comes and steals the letter and "gabbles away with a smirk on his snerk:"



Then a "Letter-Eating Bombanat" snaps it up:



As the Bombanat flew over the "Blue Ocean of Bubbling Goo," a "Bombanat-Munching Grumley" grabbed him:



Then the Grumley gets grabbed by a fishing boat!



OH NO the fishing boat gets hit by a "Furious-Floating Ice-Ferg!" SCRUNNCCHHHH!



The letter is now in a bottle in the ocean - before it is found, the whole ocean is sucked up by a "Wild-'n-Windy Typhoonigator!"



Whoooo scary badness!



The Typhoonigator was just too darn full, so it dumped its load right onto the head of a "Paper-Munching Yalapappus" - and the story gores on from there...




I'm just going to have to leave this as a cliffhanger - go find a copy and buy it! Scoot!

Do Me A Favor...

The whole reason I began blogging is because of a fabulous Canadian minx named Raymi. She's sassy and original and fearless and wonderful - if you don't 'get' her, that's okay... trust me on this one. She's a 5th degree Badass.

Love her or hate her, just do me a favor and go to the Weblogs page (click here) and vote for her blog Raymi the Minx... pretty please? You can vote once a day 'til November 8th. It's FREE and it takes like 2 seconds.

Thanks.

That is all.

Yeay For Yoga! And Lookie At My Icebox...

In honor of my fabulous NaBloPoMo, I went to the GYM today. Thank GOD. I've been trying to avoid it like the plague, but my Fabulous Dianne decided to be my gym-buddy, and we started our journey with Yoga this morning. My buttocks are quite sore right now, but I feel refreshed and centered and "filled with golden light and positive energy," to quote today's instructor...

I signed up with the 'Fridge Friday' group on Nablopomo, just for funsies... I tend to procrastinate about cleaning my fridge out, so I thought this would be a good solution...



Yes, I admit I cleaned and 'staged' my fridge. I DO wish that it looked like this ALL of the time, but with my 2 sons constantly grazing, it just never stays tidy.



You can click on the photos to make 'em bigger... I don't have much to say about the contents right now, but if you comment about them, I'll comment back...

The dogs were giving me major "WTF?" looks as I photographed the refrigerator...



This is for Canopenner - proof that I own one of the greatest children's books ever -

Bijou + Book:



(It's been out of print FOREVER. If you ever run across a copy, buy it!)

I'll end with a picture of my little Tully, dressed up SCAAARRRY for Halloween:



He insisted on wearing his khaki pants under the scary black pants, which to me rendered the costume adorable...

101 Things About Valency

Sorry - this is long. You don't have to read it if you don't want to...


1. Valency is my real name.


2. Elise is my middle name.


3. My husband, family and good friends call me neither Valency nor Elise. The call me Pookie (from the movie “The Sterile Cuckoo.”)


4. I weighed 12 pounds, 1 ½ ounces when I was born. I was 2 weeks early. My mom squeezed me out ‘the natural way.’ GO MOM!


5. I have 2 older sisters. I was supposed to be a boy. My baby shower was blue-themed and my mom got all boy presents. GOD, she must have been disappointed.


6. I was born in Portland, Oregon.


7. My dad was a dentist. He died just before my 2nd birthday. He had cancer. He was 33 years old.


8. My mom remarried a Yugoslav when I was 4 years old. Their marriage lasted 13 years. They had a nasty divorce my senior year of high school.


9. I’ve been married almost 16 years to my high school sweetheart. No, it hasn’t been a perfect marriage. Yes, I still love him more than anything, (well, along with my kids...).


10. I have a younger half-sister and half-brother. Out of all of my siblings, I am only on speaking terms with my younger half-brother and one of my older sisters. Not by my choice. 2 of my sisters are skilled at holding grudges.


11. My family all lives in Seattle, except for my younger half-sister, who hooked onto one of my husband’s friends and married him, and now she lives in the same city in New Mexico that I do. I haven’t talked to her in over 4 years.


12. I have issues.


13. I have ADD. I treat it with meds.


14. I have OCD. I use it to my advantage.


15. I have 4 cats.


16. I am allergic to cats. I take allergy meds morning and night.


17. I also have 2 dogs (rat terriers), 4 turtles, and one guinea pig named Monica (Stone named it).


18. I have 2 sons (Stone and Tully).


19. Stone weighed almost 10 lbs. when he was born. Thank god he didn’t weigh as much as me!


20. Tully only weighed 8 lbs 5 oz at birth, so he shot out pretty quick.


21. I love horror movies, but only if there is a good explanation for the mayhem integrated into the movie. And I can only watch them at home, because I need a blanket to hide under during the especially tense moments.


22. I am also a sucker for old romantic period-piece movies. I lust after ball-gowns and bustiers and bustles.


23. As a child, when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said a fireman. I still adore firemen.


24. I was a volunteer firefighter for 2 years, and an EMT working for an ambulance company in Spokane. I even got to fight wildland fires in Leavenworth, WA.


25. I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first son when I was fighting forest fires. I was really tired but I thought it was just from all of the hard work.


26. I am a licensed hairdresser. But I only keep my license now so I can buy stuff cheap at beauty supply stores and do my friends’ hair sometimes…


27. I have an un-natural fetish for motorcycle cops.


28. I think it is connected to my boot fetish.


29. Which is definitely connected to my shoe fetish.


30. Which would probably explain my obsessive love of clothes.


31. All of my sisters were entered into beauty pageants by my mom. I never was. Go figure.


32. I lived in England from 2000 to 2004 in a town called Newmarket. I adore England and miss it painfully.


33. I have flown on a US Air Force KC-135, a CV-22, and a few MH-53s (4 times). Being an Air Force wife has a few pretty rad perks…


34. I love sushi, hummus, and pretty much all food.


35. I do NOT like raw tomatoes. I have tried to learn to love raw tomatoes, but it just hasn’t worked. BUT I do like fresh salsa, bruschetta, ketchup, tomato sauce, and all other things tomato.


36. I love pistachio ice cream. I ADORE real Italian Gelato; my favorite mix is lemon, strawberry and a creamy amaretto, scooped into one cup. My favorite US ice cream shop is Procopio’s Gelateria, located just below The Pike Place Market in Seattle.


37. My mom used to feed my sisters and I raw balls of hamburger meat sprinkled with garlic salt. My mad-cow-addled-brain now craves this taste constantly. But I refrain…


38. I have 2 uvulas. It is technically called a bifurcated uvula.


39. I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.


40. I have no gall bladder, after having it removed last winter. It was because of a bout of pancreatitis. Pancreatitis was pretty much the most painful thing I have experienced in my life (reference the 10 lb baby!).


41. I had a nose job when I was 16. I still hate my nose.


42. I cannot tolerate people whistling. If you are whistling in my house, I will ask you to stop. If you are whistling in my presence in public, I will glare angrily at you.


43. I am a Pisces. I share my birthday with Liza Minelli. Also Jack Kerouac – I was born 50 years to the day after he was.


44. I have 2 tattoos. One on each ass-CHEEK. Not a lower back tramp stamp. We’re talking center cheek here.


45. I can uncannily memorize color. I can match thing exactly, and I know when a hue is identical to something I’ve seen before or not. It might seem easy but I’ve never met anyone as good as I am at it.


46. I love children’s book illustrators. It is my favorite kind of art. My favorites are Steven Kellogg, Mercer Mayer, Maurice Sendak, Peter Lippman, Shel Silverstein, Tomie de Paola, Dr. Seuss, and loads more…


47. I own almost every book that Steven Kellogg ever illustrated (over 100).
    
48. I love science fiction books.


49. I attended 12 years of Catholic school, the last 4 years at an all-girl high school. I am not Catholic. I really irritated the nuns, especially Sister Mary Annette.


50. I took a couple of years of piano when I was pretty young. My teacher was Sister Theresa who wore thick glasses, was balding and had really bad breath. She used a knitting needle to correct us when we weren’t posturing our hands correctly. Knitting needles on the knuckles HURT.


51. I grew up in a 5-story house on Queen Anne Hill in Seattle that was built at the turn of the century. (It is 3-story from the front, and 5-story on the back, since it was built on the steep South Slope of Queen Anne.) The house is about 6 blocks from the Seattle Center, where the Space Needle is located.


52. My dad, my uncle, my grandpa, and my husband were/are all US Air Force men. I’m working on one of my sons to go into the Air Force, as they would be FOURTH GENERATION Air Force and that is pretty damn fabulous.


53. Another one of my uncles is an astronaut. He commanded the Space Shuttle mission to repair the Hubble Telescope. He was the oldest man in space til that bastard John Glenn decided to go back up...


54. My mom and my younger sister are both ‘full-time’ artists. One of my older sisters is an extremely well-paid external affairs chick at Microsoft on their Redmond campus. My other sister has her own preschool on Queen Anne. She is also making bank. My brother is a professional chef. He is fabulous but aimless right now. He borrows money from my mom constantly, whetner he is making bank or not. (He is 28 and still has his cell phone in my mom’s name.)(EDIT: He finally has his own cell phone and I'm pretty sure he stopped asking for moolah! Go Bear!)


55. I love SUVs. They are my favorite sensible cars. (I’d love a little 2-seater convertible, but that is not sensible right now…)


56. My husband and I would love to own a ‘hobby farm’ someday.


57. I am extremely intelligent and have a scarily high IQ that I passed on to my younger son.


58. It drives my teachers crazy that I want to be an art teacher. I see myself as a modern-day, female Leonardo… smart and artistic is FANTASTIC!


59. My body is pear-shaped, so there is no love lost between me and my thighs.


60. I love acting but I have horrible stage-fright.


61. I had my first ‘real’ kiss, smoked my first cigarette and smoked my first joint in the 5th grade. I was 10 years old. ARGH.


62. I had my first drink when I was 4. My Yugoslav step-grandparents ALWAYS made us kids drink watered-down white wine with lunch. I HATED it.


63. I kept my virginity til I was 16. Then I decided IT WAS TIME.


64. I prefer Pepsi to Coke, but I prefer Diet Coke over Diet Pepsi.


65. My father’s side of the family is Swedish, my mother’s side is Cajun (we’re spicy!).


66. I was married in Reno, Nevada. I’ve never been to Las Vegas. I really want to go to Vegas!


67. I am an excellent cook and an excellent baker.


68. I don’t like getting massages. I haven’t learned how to relax enough to enjoy a stranger rubbing my butt.


69. My resume includes working as a firefighter, and EMT, a hairdresser, a receptionist, a baker in a bakery, I’ve worked retail in women’s clothes, I’ve dabbled in being a make-up artist for big named companies, I’ve had a home daycare, and NOW I want to be an art teacher for big kids.


70. I have my right ear pierced once, my left ear pierced 4 times, my upper lip pierced, and my bellybutton pierced, but there is nothing in my bellybutton pierce right now because I had to take it out for my gall bladder surgery (see #40)


71. I love my Netflix. It took a long time to be won over to the dark side, but now I’m hooked. (I can add you to my ‘friends’ if you have Netflix and we can spy on each other…)


72. I want a Chihuahua. I want to name her Tallulah Bankhead. Or Bunny.


73. I want a pygmy goat.


74. I want a house duck or goose. (I’ve read the book “Duck! There’s a Goose In The House!” from cover to cover… just ask me about duck diapers!)


75. I’ve worked with turtle rescue and I know TONS about turtles and tortoises now (native and non-native, aquatic and non-aquatic)… I used to have foster turtles. I quit the rescue group because they fought too much (seriously. People got in MAJOR arguments with the club).


76. I succeed in pretty much everything I try. I’m damn good. I have straight A’s in college right now, and I’m pretty much top of the class in all of my classes. Don't hate.


77. My house is sparkling clean, but my garage is cluttered. Not horribly so, but it bugs me.


78. I really want more windows in my house.


79. I’d LOVE a sunroom built onto the back of my house.


80. I NEVER take showers, if it can be helped. I only like baths.


81. I really don’t like hot tubs, though. I think they’re neat, but I don’t want to hang out in one.


82. Italy is my favorite country I’ve ever visited.


83. I really want to go to India, but I need to find an Indian person to go with me.


84. I really want breast implants. My boobs are wrecked from breastfeeding 2 kids.


85. I have lots of moles but almost no freckles.


86. I love to ski. I’ve never been snowboarding, and I don’t think I want to.


87. The most I’ve ever weighed was 215, which I hit 3 years after my last kid was born (It wasn’t ‘baby weight.’).


88. I can wiggle my ears and roll my tongue and put both legs behind my head.


89. I’ve had braces twice, and I still have the permanent retainer on my bottom teeth that was installed when I was 13. That’s some damn good glue!


90. I’m 5’8” and wear a size 10 (womens US) shoe.


91. When I was a kid I was the first person in my school to have a Swatch watch.


92. I really want a scooter, like a mint-colored vespa… but I live too close to a major highway and I would be too worried I’d get killed on it.


93. I always talk my way out of trouble when I get pulled over by a cop. I never get tickets. The only ones I’ve received were from nasty speed cameras in England. (Now that I wrote this, I’m totally gonna get a ticket.)


94. I love cockatiels but I’m too scared to get one now that I own cats.


95. I love organizing and I’ll organize the hell outta anything. Even if it’s not mine.
    
96. I’ve taken 4 years of French, 1 year of Spanish, and I also had Yugoslav lessons when I was a kid. I can understand British accents really well after living there for 4 years (It's harder than it seems when you really try and understand every word…)


97. I am a Power Shopper. I know how to find the best stuff for the best prices at the fastest speeds.


98. I flashed a tit at a group of Gondoliers in Venice, Italy. My Italian girlfriend from Vincenza was so shocked that she screamed. I laughed for about an hour straight. I also walked down the street in Vincenza with my sundress tucked into my bright red panties… I enjoyed driving Manuela nuts. And what happens in Italy, stays in Italy (unless you write about it on your blog...)


99. I like eating cottage cheese, but only if I have Cool Ranch Doritos to scoop it up with.


100. I currently own a Super Nintendo, 2 Nintendo 64s, a Gamecube, a Wii, a Playstation, a Playstation 2, a Dreamcast, a Sega Genesis, a Sega Game Gear, a Gameboy, a Gameboy Color, a Game Boy Advance, a Gameboy SP, and 2 DS Lites. Oh, and I have a fuckload of games for all of the systems. I would own an Atari and a NES if I could find one in good working order for not a lot of $$). Did I mention I LOVE video games? Oh, and I was able to score a Wii last Christmas by shamelessly flirting with the young guys at Gamestop. It pays to be a Hot Mom.


101. My mom wouldn’t let me have an Atari when I was a kid and I was HEARTBROKEN. She finally got me a Commodore 64 when I was in Jr. High and I was IN LOVE.


102. My favorite toy as a kid was my Baby Alive. I loved the fact that it would eat and drink and poop and pee. I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven but my mom said NO because she said I would burn the house down. I don’t think she realized it was a LIGHT BULB that cooked the food… I also really wanted a ventriloquist dummy. I always circled the Charlie McCarthy one EVERY YEAR in the Sears Catalog Wishbook.